Acts & Arrows

This photo of me is from the spring of 2006, taken on the Isle of Rum at a Scottish music festival. I never dreamed that nineteen years later, it would be used to share the gospel! It is a perfect image though, for this verse. Straight to the point of what matters most while having fun with it. Making 'light' of serious topics is Jesus' jam.

I can be quite a 'laser arrow' for God. Not meant for killing of course, but an intense light for sharing life abundantly (John 10:10). Arrows like me, need breaks or at least missions that are less intensely 'lasery'. I have no doubt I will be back to it in His perfect timing. Rest in God is necessary to produce good works just as seeds need time in soil to germinate, sprout, grow & produce.

My friend, Suzanne, colored this feather image as a gift for me. I chose this graphic out of a hundred or so options because it confirms my experience. I am being protected under God's wings as I rest. It is such a blessing to receive the softness of God's feathers as I am being restored in His quiver. Indeed, instead of being a 'laser arrow', lately I am more inclined to give of myself as a soft feather!

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He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. Isa 49:2

On Discovering the Jewish Jesus YouTube channel, Cynthia Schneider shares a word about God & the bow & arrow:

I have a feeling, that many Christians, if they were really to take time & space to 'lean back into God Almighty', they would actually fall asleep! Given my daily experience, I suspect that it is not just me, but the whole body of Christ that is tired! We must keep on giving our burdens up to the Lord & realize that God's bow for each individual member is not always drawn. As His disciples or 'arrows', we are safe to rest in His quiver. Trusting that: "We will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon us." (Acts 1:8).

One aspect of Holy Spirit power is recognizing that it is quite different than the power that the world values. It may not be productive in a monetary or material sense. Holy Spirit power works in ways that we are not to know about. Like this blog; other than for myself, I don't know what or who else it is for. Regardless, I appreciate receiving power to write & publish.

I'd like to change gears now & touch upon the 'mind-body syndrome' of chronic pain. It is by no means a new idea that suppressed emotion such as anger or fear causes physical symptoms. While I am not one to deny the bio-psychological factors of pain, I want to emphasize the major reality I experience with ME/CFS (which involves chronic pain), is the enormous strength required to complete basic activities of daily living in spite of fear. Fear seems like an annoying mosquito, in comparison to my on-going trek through "Mount Symptoms".

The concept of 'mind-body syndrome' is that physical symptoms replace painful emotions such as anger or fear because symptoms are considered to be more safe to the primitive part of the brain than certain emotions & their consequences. While I agree that for many people, physical pain tends to be more acceptable (& therefore more safe) than being a tyrant or in mental & emotional anguish; however, being painfully exhausted is not the same. As an adult, energy depletion is more unsafe than feeling & expressing emotions. To live well, we need to allow space for our own & others' emotions. 

We are encouraged many times throughout the Bible to not be afraid. Does this mean that we should ignore or 'stuff' fear instead of feeling it? No, I think, like David in the Psalms, God wants us to acknowledge our grievances & then turn from them to Him. This is repentance.

The highlighted Bible verse, Acts 2:38 commands us to repent & receive the Holy Spirit. Likewise, in this YouTube video, Jamie Winship says: "The Spirit critiques & energizes within you all the time. ... The formula of prophetic is critique & energize. ... It's God's kindness energy that leads us to repentance." Jamie shares a powerful story of a prisoner expressing fear in this sermon. Resting in Christ upon this topic the past few days, I felt as I wrote this simple poem about fear:

And now, going back to that little, annoying 'mosquito'. Sometimes it's the straw that breaks me! Already I'm so taxed navigating physical challenges & then its hum pierces my eardrum, it stabs me, steals my blood & leaves me with itchy bumps. Grrrr!

But now, I see this mosquito is just a hurting exiled part of myself, loaded down with fear. I understand, something that is not survival-oriented has to be hard to ignore to get my attention. That said, mosquitos are one creature I don't feel badly killing if they are hunting me! Smack. So beware, little mosquito, you've been warned. I'll do my best to help you unburden on a regular basis & please do not pursue me with painful emotions too intensely; no swarms!

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How grateful & blessed I am to be confident in the love of my Father. I bring all these fears to Him, one by one. They rise up & off as vapor (my favorite image) & trickle away, released as tears, in God's presence. If they come back, I will go to Him with them again. His love never ends; it never runs out & it never gives up on me, amen!