 This unanswered question posed by God in Jonah 4:11 is the final verse in this unique story of such rich & great depth. The book of Johan in the Bible is about a prophet who attempts to avoid God's command to warn the Nenevites that their evil ways have caught up with them. Rather than going into enemy territory to sound the alarm, Jonah takes an unsuccessful sabbatical from God's service. He gets tossed overboard a ship into the stormy sea & then is miraculously 'rescued' from drowning by being swallowed by a sea creature. Jonah spends three days inside the belly of the beast! For the whole of chapter two, Jonah prays sincerely; crying out to God from 'the depth of Sheol' (NASB) or 'from deep in the realm of the dead' (NIV). Jonah describes rock bottom viscerally & quite relatably to those who've been there. He also expresses his awakening - a changed heart & renewed vow: But I will sacrifice to Thee Even though Jonah doesn't repent for trying to ditch God's instruction, God makes the great fish vomit him back to life upon dry land for another chance. This seems symbolic of baptism & being born again. I guess God knew that Jonah's willingness to obey this time around was in fact the best any Hebrew of that day could do for the wicked & terrorizing people of Neneveh. Renewing his vow to the Lord strengthens Jonah to deliver the most successful prophesy of the old testament - everyone in Neneveh (even the animals) take him seriously & call on God in repentance. Jonah's anger (to the point of wanting to die) over God's relent, clearly shows Jonah's human nature. In contrast, eight hundred or so years later, Jesus, the son of God (God in human form), refers to the 'sign of Jonah' as an astute illustration that 'now something greater than Jonah is here'! Praise the Lord for all those who hear & believe :) Matthew 12:38 Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”39 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40 For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. 41 The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now something greater than Jonah is here. For what was asked of him, Jonah's anger is understandable but so quickly he forgot that God's compassion upon the Nenevites doesn't mean everything will be sunshine & roses for them. Just as Jonah had to endure his own 'day of the Lord' in the belly of a fish & he still wasn't 'off the hook' regarding God's plan, so it is for everyone: "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." Galatians 6:7 It's just as Tim Mackie says: "God is not out to destroy us. He's out to show us that we're going the wrong way so that we can turn & find grace & new life. God's judgment is a good thing; it's an expression of His love. It's aimed at restoring people to relationship with Himself." God's judgment brings justice but it certainly & often doesn't seem fair or right or fun for us. Could it be that 'justice is as justice does' but is not as it appears? We learn from the book of Job that when it doesn't look as though justice is being served, we are to trust God anyway; He is working everything out 'just so' in His infinite wisdom & ways. When we consider all the moving parts, it's no wonder things are as they are. Jonah's well-heeded proclamation to the Nenevites was a hint toward the blessing of Jesus to come to all nations, including to those who are not God's chosen Jewish, Israelites. As I mentioned in my previous blog, Christian salvation is unique in that it is not about what we do as much as it's about what God has done for us. Christianity & going to heaven do not come about by 'being a good person' as many seem to think. We can not 'good' our way back to God as we were before 'the fall' because sin keeps us 'spiritually dead' to our Creator. Being or doing good doesn't cover up, cleanse or remove our sin. Only Jesus' death on the cross accomplished this & before Christ, people such as the Nenevites were saved by their faith in God & made righteous unto Him through repentance. No one is without wrongdoing except for Christ. Thank you God for giving us 'that which is greater than Jonah'. For it is through Jesus that we are reconciled to: "Our Father in heaven,
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 The shortest book of the old testament, Obadiah, conveys an important message: do not take advantage of those who are in distress. Although this seems pretty obvious, we undoubtedly need reminding to oppose the 'dog eat dog' survivalist mindset that intensifies at times. Obadiah 1:15 is like the backdrop of the 'golden rule', expressed in numerous ways throughout the Bible, for example, when Jesus says "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31) While the sentiment of the golden rule is shared in many philosophies & religions (see: https://www.goldenruleproject.org/formulations), salvation is unique to Christianity. God's reach down to us on earth through His son, for our redemption, is unlike anything else. Blessed we are, amen. 3"The arrogance of your heart has de- Who will bring me down to earth? The Lord, God if I am receptive to His Spirit. "Do not enter the gate of My people What we do to our neighbors, the earth & our enemies, we do to ourselves. Thank you Lord for the heads up & for helping us get this truth! Amen.
 This is a photo I took in my community of the beautiful, July full moon. Before being called by God to prophesy, Amos was a herdsmen & farmer. He became like the light of this full moon, shining God's warning & wisdom upon his neighbors who were caught up in corruption & spiritual darkness. There are numerous examples through out the old testament showing us what Acts 10:34 tells us: among the wayward & unrepentant, God doesn't show favoritism. His Holiness brings justice upon everyone. His 'chosen' people, Israel, are certainly no exception. Yet, He is patient & gives lots of chances for people to make changes by seeking & returning to Him. It is our choice to heed His messages (scripture) or to not. Whom of those who've read, can honestly deny His ROAR!? Therefore, thus I will do to you, O Israel; Because I shall do this to you, Prepare to meet your God, O Israel. Amos 4:12 God's instruction to His people is not convoluted. It seems to me as straightforward as looking both ways before crossing the street ... so that we may live. For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel, "Seek Me that you may live." Amos 5:4 But even with this simple instruction, I sometimes wonder, what hope do we have here? Given that long ago, while in union with God in the Garden of Eden, we turned away from having all our needs met, unto sin! From this act of rebellion, we fell into conflict & layers of impossibility; obstacles within obstacles. Such is the day of the Lord: Alas, you who are longing for the day of the Lord, for what purpose will the day of the Lord be to you? It will be darkness and not light; As when a man flees from a lion, and a bear meets him, or goes home, leans his hand against the wall, and a snake bites him. Amos 5:18-19 The hardships of life on earth surrounded by spiritual death can lead us back to the Lord if we open ourselves to this possibility. The hope we have comes from following Jesus, who takes all judgement of others out of us because everyone is equally in need of His salvation. I pray for God's justice to keep working its way through each of us unto others & this land, amen. But let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. Amos 5:24 Justice comes through sharing God's word, which I like to do, hopefully so, in ways that inspire curiosity & awe ('The Spirit') rather than repulsion. As we know from 1 Cor. 2:14 "The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness..." Thank you God for ending my famine for hearing your words. I praise you for filling, healing & strengthening me with the Holy Scripture. I do not take for granted that the Bible is freely available to me. I pray that all who are in need, waiting & searching, many who know not for what they seek, will find you dear Lord Jesus, hearing & heeding your word, amen. "Behold days are coming," declares the Lord God, "When I will send a famine on the land, not a famine for bread or a thirst for water, but rather for hearing the words of the Lord. Amos 8:11  Back in December of 2023, I wrote about Richard Schwartz' psychological approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Today's blog, goes into more detail about IFS from my Christian perspective starting with a quote from Mr. Schwartz's book called No Bad Parts: "...in terms of spiritual preferences, our exiles' sense of worthlessness is likely to unconsciously steer us toward spiritualities or gurus that promise redemption or salvation. Similarly, because of their fear and hurt, we might tend toward forms of worship that are centered around a guru or some notion of an all-powerful God." (p.76) Whether this 'steering' toward salvation comes from exiled parts of our psyches or from what Richard Schwartz calls: 'Self Energy', ultimately it is a gift from God. Wisdom of 'the fear of the Lord' makes us aware of God Almighty & appreciate our need of Him as our Savior. This blessing may not happen until we experience our own personal 'Day of the Lord' (a coming to Jesus moment). Often an intense time of judgement, a reckoning & destruction & hopefully praise God, resulting in repentance & salvation. This is sound preparation for THE Day of the Lord that many prophets of the Bible, including Joel, speak about as being 'near' (Joel 1:15, 2:1, 11, 31 & 3:14) - "Who can endure it?"
As mentioned in my previous blog, IFS is an approach used to 'get to know' the complex & delicate inner workings of our minds. Richard Schwartz writes about 'Self Energy' that is needed for such a task. Self Energy involves qualities he calls 'the eight C's': curiosity, calm, confidence, compassion, creativity, clarity, courage & connectedness. Equipped with these qualities, Richard teaches therapists to guide people in discovering & 'unburdening' banished parts that are stuck hurting in past scenarios. The aim of IFS is freeing parts from their protective yet damaging behaviors & roles. Psychology & spirituality are inextricably intertwined yet often not in a harmonious way. I extend these words of caution about psychological approaches such as IFS because I know that people who are hurting can get very lost & taken advantage of while exploring the depths of themselves. Even as a Christian blessed with relatively harmonious integration of spirituality & psychology, I've experienced this danger. Woe especially to those that attempt such an endeavor who are without the anchor of a strong, conscious relationship with our personal Creator! Self Energy is considered by many to be a safe way to lead people 'down the rabbit hole' to bring about self-improvement. Furthermore, emotional pain & psychological help can be a doorway for genuine encounters with God. People may very well come to meet God through self-exploration but they also might not. In other words, Self Energy might only possibly scratch the surface regarding spiritual death (not to mention spiritual attacks). Addressing spiritual death ought to be our top priority & first order of business towards fulfilling our truest potential, otherwise, round & round within spiritual death one goes, seeking the peace & comfort of Christ Jesus in everything under the sun but Him. This said, it must be genuine, from a 'tenderized' heart; it can not come about superficially or by coercion. A tenderized heart means feeling the fear of His sheer power & that He means business! Mixed with His unrivaled loving compassion & forgiveness. Even at our physical & psychological peak of strength & aptitude, we are but a breath (Psalm 144:4)! We are merely vapor - here today & gone tomorrow (James 4:14). Like the grass of the field, we wither & like flowers, our faithfulness fades when the Lord blows upon us (Isaiah 40:6-7). All 'the 8 C's' in the world can't prevent anyone's inevitable & possibly sudden & immediate destruction, but our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ does by offering eternal life: "And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be delivered..." (Joel 2:32). Delivered from spiritual death! Who doesn't want that & why not? Self Energy pales in comparison to spiritual rebirth. The IFS way of 'unburdening' can not offer us spiritual rebirth: "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12). Richard teaches people to 'unburden' exiles by letting the painful emotions they carry go into one of the elements (e.g. air, water, fire, light, earth). For non-Christians, I think this aspect of IFS appeals to parts that know God & understand that He longs to free us ("...I will put my laws into their minds & I will write them on their hearts." Hebrews 8:10). These parts that know God, maybe they can not yet see Him as our personal, loving Father but they are heading in this direction. If you think about it, there is an aspect of truth to this way of unburdening because God is everywhere (Ephesians 4:6). Of course He is the light (John 8:12). This said, it can also be misleading & confusing. The concept of psychological unburdening can distract & lead people away from pursuing God in a personal way through Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior. Not mentioning Jesus as the original 'un-burdener' misleads people into believing that with the help of a therapist, we can unburden ourselves, which according to God is inappropriate self-reliance not unlike original sin ("...you will be like God, knowing good & evil." Genesis 3:4). Cleaning up old psychological wounds in this IFS way, likely helps people feel better & perhaps be more functional but it is a far cry from repentance & salvation - rebirth - the official 'starting line' of healing & wholeness! Of course, we can not force anyone into salvation or even into wanting to entertain or discuss the concept of it. Each person comes to salvation in a way & timing that is drawn by the Father (John 6:44). Some people might get there through psychological 'preparation' such as Self Energy. On a broader note, I hope that more Christians come to appreciate that needing psychological help even during our walk with Christ is no different than needing a doctor but it certainly requires nuanced discernment. I think a template of IFS can most safely be adapted & utilized by Christians as a way to find & release to the Lord emotional pain, in a more gentle & up to date manner (less archaic & traumatic) than typical 'deliverance' strategies. I have a personal example of how IFS can also help lost Christians find their way back to Jesus in the midst of their darkest 'hour'. During a very difficult time when my already ill-health was in sharp decline & relationship concerns were prolific during the pandemic, I felt I had no where else to turn, even as a Christian. For many years leading up to this time, I had been crying out to God without receiving what felt like enough or practical help. So I got to the point of seeking guidance from trees but they too were silent on these matters, go figure, lol. When I was asked by a therapist using IFS methodology who else was here to help me, this is when Jesus came into much clearer view & I knew what to do. I went to scripture & heard it in a much more meaningful & healing way. While my health is gradually improving, continued surges of intense symptoms are felt as a remnant. A reminder to me that I share with you about my personal Day of the Lord (much longer than a day; a very, very long season). Keeping me in constant awareness of how powerful He is & to remain steadfast, in awe, humbled & surrendered to Him. He is after our hearts, not our appearance. Our heart is often where we 'store away' our sins, wounds & other burdens as if it is an attic or basement. Christian-based IFS is a way to invite Jesus to enter into & offer up to Him, our most messy, hidden vulnerabilities, where we hold onto things most dear as well as that which we most want to forget. I pray a blessing over Richard Schwartz & those who use IFS & other psychological approaches. May IFS bring people to the true healing power of Christ through salvation, amen. If you are looking for a Christian IFS therapist, here is a list I have come across: https://jennariemersma.com/find-christian-ifs-therapist/ I have made a few short, artistic illustrations on my Instagram & YouTube of some of the points I have written about in this blog. Thanks for reading. Feel free to pose comments, questions or concerns.  Seeking God's face is all about intimacy with our almighty Creator. It is intentionally bringing God's personal, unconditional love & holiness to shine upon me. Like an eager, tentative child looking to her father for approval as she explores or a spouse's knowing glance from across a crowded room. One of the most accessible ways of seeking God's face is by reading His word. The more I study God's word, the more clearly I see His face. As a blind person knows faces by touch, I feel the magnificence of meeting God's Holy gaze through scripture! He wants us seeking His face in times of joy & also during trouble for support, conviction & correction.  Otherwise, He may turn to other ways of getting our attention & discipline, as the book of Hosea details. For example, chapter 2 verse 6 states that God used thorns & a wall to stop Gomer from her sin of harlotry. Before Jesus became the face of God among us, it seems that seeking Him was more arduous & strict but it was also a much more accepted part of everyday life compared to now. Either way, it still isn't easy to: 1). hear & see God & accept the Gospel. In fact, in our natural state of spiritual death this requires God's intervention; & 2). stay strong on God's path. Now & in the past, the material world compels us; we get distracted from & forget our need to seek God first & foremost. "As they had their pasture, they became satisfied & being satisfied, their heart became proud; therefore, they forgot Me." (Hosea 13:6). Furthermore, many people do not acknowledge their need for forgiveness. People can be morally good & do great things, which is wonderful but without accepting the saving grace of God's son Jesus Christ, they remain spiritually dead in sin. The book of Hosea makes it clear to me that God wants everyone to know that our greatest need is spiritual met by Him alone! "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..." (Hosea 4:6) "For there is no savior besides Me." (Hosea 13:4). My people consult their wooden idol, and their diviner's wand informs them; for a spirit of harlotry has led them astray, and they have played the harlot, departing from their God. Hosea 4:12 Personal happiness is of top priority in this secular, consumeristic world. Reading through the Bible, it seems this has always been the case. When things are not going our way, we're apt to take matters into our own hands & look to other 'gods' that are expertly marketed as more palatable & profitable. All the while, God pleads with us that it is especially during difficult times that we should look to Him even more closely, noticing for instance, the way His eyes weep or sparkle & smile with ours. "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord." (Hosea 6:3). This is how we grow beyond ourselves.  There are numerous Bible verses that display God's call for everyone to seek His face. Here are two: 1). “Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth; For I am God, and there is no other." (Isa. 45:22). 2). Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink." (John 7:37). If you think you do not belong to God for any reason, may God's intervention change your mind. Hosea 2:23 states, those who used to be considered "not My people" (e.g. non-Jews), are in fact God's people. Furthermore, at least twice, the New Testament records Jesus saying: "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matt. 9:13 & Mark 2:17). Note: 'sinners' means everyone. A wise daily practice it is to humbly confess our blind spots (e.g. "Please my Lord, show me the errors in my way.") as well as sins we’re aware of. Bringing our failures, weakness & brokenness to God almighty is not for the faint of heart. Think of Saul being blinded by the light of God shining upon his sins. "Seek My face" means facing all of ourselves in light of the Father, 'El Roi' (the God who sees me) & 'Galah Raz' (revealer of mysteries). He knows our guilt for sin even before we are born.
Throughout our lives, He works on us, kneading & softening us like clay! Allowing us to feel the wages of sin & thus our need of Him. Graciously He provides us a way back to life with Him, if we so choose it. Within all the frustrations & trials, such a joy-filled sense of relief & gratitude fills me in being set free of death unto life through Christ Jesus. I pray it fills you too, amen.  I've been thinking about parents who encourage their toddlers & young children to "help" with the daily chores of sweeping, cooking, laundry, yard work & such. Doing so is not because the little ones are actually helpful in these ways, rather it is preparation & for their healthy development that parents take extra time & effort doing this. And so it is with God, who allows & equips us to "help" Him do His will: Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. As children are in comparison to adults, we are even greater still so much more vastly 'clumsy' & insufficient compared to God! Even with the best of intentions, we get in the way of His perfect will. Probably messing things up far more than actually helping! Might it be that this perspective can take some needed pressure off the "being good" part of what it means to be the Lord's disciples? He takes us on! Continuing to equip & develop us despite our many failures. Even when we 'do things right' as in the case with Daniel, this may mean exposure to blazing fires & lions' dens for us to get the Lord's message & show it to others. Despite potentially negative consequences, Daniel 'tested & approved what God's will is' by sharing his interpretation of the "writing on the wall" to king Belshazzar: Daniel 5:23 "...you have praised the gods of silver and gold, of bronze, iron, wood and stone, which do not see, hear or understand. But the God in whose hand are your life-breath and your ways, you have not glorified." Imagine being trapped with hungry lions for worshiping God, as Daniel did, despite king Darius's injunction not to. Daniel didn't have to kill these lions. God demonstrated His power in a more delicate way by sending His angel to shut the lions' mouths in light of Daniel's innocence. Daniel's courage & survival inspired the king to make the following declaration: Daniel 6:26-27 I make a decree that in all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel; For He is the living God and enduring forever, And his kingdom is one which will not be destroyed, And His dominion will be forever. He delivers and rescues and performs signs and wonders In heaven and on earth, Who has also delivered Daniel from the power of the lions. God made us to dwell in perfect presence with Him in the Garden of Eden. Of course He prefers when we listen to Him & do not sin but He knows we are all learning to 'test & approve what God's will is' & in doing so we make many mistakes. Some of us wrestle with the thought: "If only I were in the perfection of Eden like Adam & Eve lived, it would be easier to not to sin." Yet, here on earth, in our fallen state, God provides us with an 'out' that reconnects us with the perfection of the "Garden of Eden" --this is Jesus & the Holy word of God, the Bible. Yet still there are so many who choose not to acknowledge & receive these gifts as such; as His word & the way, the truth & the life. I pray that we receive these gifts over & over as many times as is needed to live 'his good, pleasing & perfect will.' Amen.
 “You can’t have God’s mercy & grace without His wrath & His justice.” —Pastor Doug Wiebe. At our Easter service at Aldergrove Alliance Church, Pastor Doug went on to explain that without Jesus Christ's finished work on the cross, God's justice (wrath) would "ruin us" because in our fallen state of sin, we can not survive the presence of God without the atoning sacrifice of our Lord & savior, Jesus Christ. What better book of the Bible to demonstrate pastor Doug's point than Ezekiel? I pray that we all learn from this important history & humbly accept the gift of God's mercy & grace, His son, our redeemer & advocate, amen. In chapter 9, verse 9 of Ezekiel, it is written: "The iniquity of the house of Israel & Judah is very, very great..." & yet God shows His mercy, sparing those "who sigh & groan over all the abominations which are being committed in its midst." (Ezekiel 9:4-6). However, towards those committing atrocities, He says: “Now the end is upon you, and I shall send My anger against you; I shall judge you according to your ways, and I shall bring all your abominations upon you. In Chapter 11, God expresses His promise to help us choose Him & remain steadfast in His ways: “And I shall give them one heart, and shall put a new spirit within them. And I shall take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, God instructed & equipped Ezekiel to repeatedly warn the people of Israel in numerous ways, throughout a period of about twenty years, of the coming consequences of their sins! "Say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God, ... Say, 'I am a sign to you...." (Ezekiel 12:10-11). Furthermore, He promises to protect a 'remnant' who go on to share with other nations about the saving grace & miraculous sustaining power of God: “But I shall spare a few of them from the sword, the famine, and the pestilence that they may tell all their abominations among the nations where they go, and may know that I am the LORD.” Ezekiel 12:16 However, towards those committing brutal atrocities against God, who do not listen to warnings to change, there is no escape: “As silver is melted in the furnace, so you will be melted in the midst of it; and you will know that I, the LORD, have poured out My wrath on you.” Ezekiel 22:22 “And your lewdness will be requited upon you, and you will bear the penalty of worshiping your idols; thus you will know that I am the Lord God.” Ezekiel 23:49 “Will you still say, ‘I am a god,’ in the presence of your slayer, although you are a man and not God, in the hands of those who wound you?” Ezekiel 28:9 God pleads with His created fallen ones that they turn from their destructive actions & idolatries but He knows they have fallen too far away from Him to do so: “Say to them, ‘As I live!’ declares the Lord God, ‘I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn back, turn back from your evil ways! Why then will you die, O house of Israel?’ Ezekiel 33:11 May their deaths at least continue to serve as more than a warning for others to heed & respond to: “But as for you, son of man, your fellow citizens who talk about you by the walls and in the doorways of the houses, speak to one another, each to his brother, saying, ‘Come now, and hear what the message is which comes forth from the Lord.’ Ezekiel 33:30 In today's modern world, so many of us are raised without any notion of the necessity for reliance on God. Science, culture & other forces have taught us that Bible scripture & even God is nothing more than a fairy tale of superstitions from the past when people were ignorant of what is really going on. To many, the Bible describes a time when, to make sense of things, people had to make up outrageous stories. But actually, the same atrocities that took place back then, are still occurring today. The violent wars, bloodshed, corruption, oppression & other forms of "hard-heartedness" toward God & His guidance persist despite His patient protection & pleas for us to get our 'stuff' together & choose Him over all else. Science nor culture; nothing of this world can save us from evil, our own or otherwise. But the good Lord God can, will & does everyday, amen. “I will feed My flock and I will lead them to rest” declares the Lord God. According to Biblehub.com 'the fat & strong' mean "prosperity which begets hardness of heart and forgetfulness of God". https://biblehub.com/commentaries/ezekiel/34-16.htm God teaches us with dire warnings from the past & ultimately graciously gave us His son, Jesus Christ; 'showers of blessing' (Ezekiel 34:26) in which the choice to partake is ours: “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols.” Ezekiel 36:25 “And I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant with them. And I will place them and multiply them, and will set My sanctuary in their midst forever.” Ezekiel 37:26  To honor the book of Lamentations, which in Hebrew is made of acrostic poems, I write 26 words in alphabetical order describing what God is: awesome, beautiful, compassionate, daring, everlasting, friend, good, holy, illuminating, just, kind, loving, majestic, needless (without needs), omniscient, powerful, quotable, real, savior, truth, uplifting, victorious, welcoming, xenagogue, yearning, zealous. These beautiful verses quoted in the image above from the third chapter of Lamentations demonstrate truth, hope & the love of God to me. While we are not promised an easy life, with on-going difficult circumstances, it can feel as though God has rejected us. Is this plight His way of beckoning our attention? We neglect Him & His guidance time & time again but then when the crumbling of life exceeds our limit, we shout, cursing & crying out, blaming God. To our great mercy, He forgives because HE IS FORGIVENESS: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10 Shining His love upon us to the exact 'next thing' that requires our growth & change, He sets us up so that we MUST keep probing our ways for sin rather than to just keep on complaining! It is crucial that we return again & again to that which is good, worthy, healthy & elevating AND KNOW THIS IS THE LORD! Thank you God, for giving us eyes to see & ears to hear, amen.
 I appreciate James Finley's talk on YouTube called: Becoming a Healing Presence in a Traumatized World. He shares stories about his childhood of violent abuse from his alcoholic father & how God sustained him throughout all that. Upon his graduation from high school, he entered a monastery which he says "radicalized me". With poetic imagery, he describes a few 'otherworldly' Godly experiences he had there. But then he undergoes another encounter of abuse, this time from a well-respected priest in authority over him & he "had a breakdown'. Finley explains the breakdown by saying: "As I was walking around, I felt like I was unraveling & sanity was like thin ice over icy-cold black water & it was cracking & if I fell through, because of my trauma history, I might never find my way back again, so I left." He left the monastery without telling anyone what happened. While I have not experienced the same severity of abuse, I've had enough trauma (& the privilege of being removed from it) to viscerally relate with Finley's description of "breakdown" & his response of fleeing. After painstakingly climbing my way out of a clinical depression in my twenties on my own via 'self-help', I did some traveling & then began a two-year apprenticeship at a personal growth institute in Massachusetts. For a brief while in life, I was at the top of my game! So I thought. What I didn't understand during my time at this institute is that the teachers there, so they could help me heal more, wanted me to 'repel' back into the hole of pain I scraped my fingernails off climbing out of. There was no way in hell I would willingly go to that place again. I eagerly explored many 'unhappy' beliefs & motivations for doing this & feeling that but simply put, I didn't feel nearly enough love from or trust in the teachers there, for me to 'climb back down' into the pit of despair to bring forth whatever remained. I'm doing so well now, I subconsciously thought, I've recovered from the wounds that had caused depression. Why pick the scabs & make them bleed again? This intensely demanding work & emotional 'healing' place I lived at for two years is why my 'Mama Bear' protector part re-activated. Instead of being angry & aggressive toward others, she protected me with shut-down (hibernation). Wait it out, in time things will be better (hopefully they will eventually stop prodding me with a hot iron). This is a major survival strategy for many living things that must endure difficult conditions over long periods. Shut-down mode plays a role in triggering & maintaining the long-term illness (ME/CFS) I experience but is not the whole story. What I know now, all these years later, is that Self is insufficient for healing. Even Self + doctors, medicine, friends, family, spiritual & psychological help, exercise, fresh air, sunshine, good nutrition, plenty of rest & sleep - all of that is beneficial, don't get me wrong, but barely touches the surface of the hellscape of on-going, daily body pain & bone crushing fatigue. An intimate, enduring & ever-present relationship with God via Jesus Christ is The Love that is absolutely necessary for sustaining life (eternal life). I've had to learn this the hard way. I pray that in sharing my story, others won't have to learn the hard way. For those already in 'a hard way', I pray that this will be a reminder to: 'ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is & walk in it', amen!   Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor. 1:3-4  I've been learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy lately & thoroughly enjoying doing 'parts art' - which simply means expressing 'parts' of oneself with art. We all have parts; we are multidimensional multiplicities of mind, body & spirit. For example, Richard Schwartz explains how our inner "managers" & "firefighters" protect our more vulnerable "exiled" parts. He calls our exiles 'basement children' because they are the difficult feelings, sensations & beliefs we've banished into the 'basement' of our psyches to avoiding dealing with them & to prevent them from overwhelming us in our day to day lives. But, the things is, as we 'gain life experience' (age) & internal & external pressures intensify, it is as if our exiled parts get squished out from under us! They come squawking, oozing & creeping their way into our everyday lives as they expel (or excuse) themselves from our basements, often in protest of being down there alone, for much too long. I became interested in Psychology & looking deeply into my "inner world" when I was quite young. Starting with a cognitive-behavioral approach (the root of pop psychology & new age thought), I've enjoyed learning about the complexities of the human mind from various perspectives. Since about 2010, I developed more of a somatic understanding of our body-mind (e.g. polyvagal theory & psycho-neuro-immunology). As of late, have been exploring how all of this fits with Christian spirituality & specifically with physical healing & deliverance. During my recent Prayer, Healing & Deliverance appointment with Bernadette & Audrey (who by the way is 98 & has been doing PhD for over 25 years), I experienced a beautiful & reassuring vision of God gently & effortlessly scooping me out of a "brambly thorn bush" (illness), placing me onto safe ground & then the thorn bush turned into my favorite flowers, roses. This is what God does - He heals & makes things new! He makes beautiful out of difficult. Jesus teaches us to show up for the exiles (inner & outer) because that is who He is. The image here of Jesus glowing, depicts what happened a few years ago when Jesus came to find me, His lost sheep, during a long time of intensified illness I was going though. What a blessing :) “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? The main thing I appreciate about 'parts work' (IFS) is the understanding that the focus of healing is not on changing or disposing of exiles but rather it is about acknowledging & getting to know them & their needs & updating them as to what is going on, especially anything out of the ordinary or stressful. Yep, this means chatting with our inner, vulnerable selves (usually children) on a regular basis! Furthermore, knowing that exiles, even after their 'burdens' are released, are permanent structures within each of us, takes pressure off of us trying to rid ourselves of them (which contrarily causes them to become even more lost yet heavy within us; the opposite of what is needed for healing).
A main point of divergence between Christian spirituality & the IFS model, is that in IFS there are "No bad parts" (see No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model -a book by Richard Schwartz & Alanis Morissette). Whereas, in Christianity, clearly, there is sin, we are all sinners & sin is bad! Also some Christians hold the view that many of us are in need of help with deliverance prayers designed to extract stubborn, evil demons from within. It is important to recognize that spiritually speaking we are all sinners in need of salvation named Jesus. Jesus is the 'bridge' & our model of a real-life, human to God relationship with God. I hold this as true AND I understand that to heal psychologically, we need to see ourselves ('bad parts' & all), with compassion & inclusion because the very act of exiling, banishing; calling something "bad" - makes it behave even more badly! If instead, we can do as Jesus taught us & think twice about 'casting the first stone' & then look at our 'bad parts' with empathy, curiosity & kindness, seeking to know what's happened to them & what their role & needs are - we have a much higher chance of healing (unburdening) them. By healing them, I mean reuniting them back with God's original plan for them by witnessing & releasing their hurts & soothing their pleas for relief. Before 'the fall' there was no suffering but living now in this cursed world with good & evil, what if all Christians got physically healed immediately upon asking the Lord? Would we be helpful to others who've had to endure ongoing hardships & suffering? God needs representatives who gratefully accept His ways of developing our patience in affliction & growing our faith to be able to comfort & share with others. Knowing spiritually "...And by His stripes we are healed." (Isa 53:5) how glorious the freedom is to let go & trust completely in God's sovereign answer to our request for physical healing: "Yes" "No" or "Not yet." Amen! |