 Feelings are a language way bigger than words. By "feelings" I mean emotions & sensations. They are condensed information packages like zip files. For me they contain not just personal content but also something of everything I care about, which God knows, is a lot! I am learning more about what it means to be a "feeler" for the Kingdom of God. I pray dear Lord for your burden that is light to help me do your will in discerning & deciphering important feelings & what to do with them, amen! It is interesting listening to stories of how people come to hear the Lord's calling & how He enriches lives & brings people through challenges. Listening to others' testimonies has helped me, as a Christian, feel less alone in what I have been through. Christianity is often not glamorous or easy. Many of us either come from or get into such difficulties at some point that we even question wanting to be immortal! Despite this, there are millions of brilliant Christian testimonies & many martyrs. This says a lot about the power of the living God! I agree with J. Warner Wallace, the American homicide detective & Christian apologist, who says: "I am not a Christian because it works for me, I am a Christian because it is true." As Christians, we give up to God our temporary, carnal (worldly) lives for eternal life with Christ: Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39 (NIV) I have been feeling called to share my testimony for quite some time & have realized I need to break it down into short stories so as to capture adequate detail. This blog is about the time in my life, not long ago that culminated in re-dedicating my life to the Lord. After many years of me/cfs illness & trying numerous things to improve my health without success, including crying out to God in prayer countless times, in 2020 I sought energy healing. I won't go into details about how those specific sessions were for me but I'll mention a few points about taking an online class taught by the energy healer.  This course was for learning metaphysical strategies to improve my energy, in other words, "new age" practices. There are those who believe that some of the origins of new age teachings come from Christianity, but with the authority of Jesus Christ removed, they are dangerous, blasphemous, idolatry. At that time, I was a Christian but on the periphery of new age for years, however, I was never really sold on it. Participating in the class with the energy healer felt intriguing but also intimidating. I had entered an arena that felt foreign to me. I was like a pet rabbit in a jungle! They were checking me out in a deep & undisclosed way, which was not comfortable for my highly sensitive, introverted self who just wants to be healthy, engage harmoniously with others & have a pleasant life. Also, I could feel more clearly than usual how everyone's morality is unique. It is good that I came to know these things in such a tangible way because before this, I could be naive & too trusting of others. However, being introverted & reserved has been one form of protection against that. Around this time, I realized how important adhering to the ten commandments is for communities. As common sense as they are to me, many other people live by totally different moral laws or none at all. In the late Spring of 2020, the energy healer-teacher invited me to a 'purification' or sweat lodge, that he was leading. There was four other participants, one 'watchman' & I brought a friend along. It is impossible to put such a densely packed felt experience into words but I will do my best. May this message be pleasing to the Lord & helpful for the Kingdom of God. Before beginning 'the sweat', I was concerned the heat inside the lodge was going to be unbearable, like the heat inside a car on a hot day, a suffocating heat, but it was not like that at all. The most striking aspect of the experience was the profound, unspeakable beauty.  Beauty I felt. Beauty that drenched me in a tender, misty-liquid-light type of love that emanated from the fire that was inside the rocks that lay burning in the middle of the lodge. Holy Spirit filled the dome-shaped log structure we were gathered in. There was nothing scary about this experience, yet I also felt vulnerable & an appropriate 'fear of the Lord' in there. His shear power, sacredness & deserving of respect, commanded such reverence. If there were any unholy spirits around, they didn't stay long! The blissful, comforting, healing warmth of Holy Spirit relaxed my body that so often feels pain. Plus, there was just the right amount of coolness in the air coming up from the earth that we were seated upon. My mind felt peacefully calm & clear as I breathed in the delicately rich scent of cedar. We each prayed & also sang Amazing Grace together.  "Tri-Infinity Eagle Lodge" - this is the art I made after participating in the June 202o purification lodge. Those embryo-like looking things in the middle are the 6 souls in the lodge as the black grandfather rocks burned, glowing orange at the center in between us. The misty-liquid-light of the Holy Spirit fills the air & Eagle Watchman stands nearby with open wings of protection, amen & praise the Lord! This event was a mixture of Indigenous culture, Christianity & new age healing. What the ... (insert 'mind blown' emoji)? I would have liked to of had more prior understanding about the tradition of the purification lodge & 1:1 debriefing time with the energy healer. I was told later by one of the elders that the purification lodge is similar to going to church for Indigenous people. Well it was quite the service, phew! I am grateful I was able to feel the healing, power & beauty of the Holy Spirit during that experience. However, I will also add that there are things that happened during that chapter of my life that were unbearably painful & difficult to process on my own. It has taken me years to integrate & just now share little bits of it. I have not felt comfortable talking with anyone about these experiences in any depth & this isolation has weighed on me. I participated in the lodge when I was going through a time of extremely poor health as well as the pandemic. I would not have gone for energy healing if I had other options & wasn't at the end of my rope. I am curious about the other participants' experiences in the lodge; likely they are quite different from mine. This was not the first time I had been overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit. While it was blissful for me at this time, I know that the convicting power of Holy Spirit can also be very uncomfortable - even to the point of being confused as an evil presence. Scripture records several examples of the spirit of the Lord, immediately upon appearing to people, saying: "Do not be afraid" (Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 1:20; Luke 2:10; Acts 18:9).  "Wings of Wisdom" - I drew this eagle just after attending the purification lodge based upon the experience of what I felt. Psychology & new age spirituality teach about the importance of "shadow work" & integration for healing & personal development. Integrating the shadow is about seeing & accepting the "dark side" or hidden aspects of ourselves rather than remaining unaware or repressing them (often with guilt & shame). The energy healer told me that trying to heal by doing shadow work on ourselves is like trying to do our own dental work, ouch! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod & Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NASB) The concept of "shadow work" comes from scripture. A central part of Christianity is being well-aware of the dark or evil, sin-nature of ourselves & of humanity in general. We also understand there are dark forces at work in this world. We are not affirming of evil, rather, we acknowledge that it is our biggest problem & it is precisely why believing in what Jesus has done for us is top priority & necessary for our salvific purification. Jesus is who He says He is & thus we need Him for ourselves to become whole & fully healed. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus takes each of us as we are - broken by our own & others' sin & He mends us up with His righteousness so that we can stand before the holiness of God & survive His consuming fire (see Deuteronomy 4:24 & Hebrews 12:29). Furthermore, we are not to perform 'dental work' on our own teeth or trust just anyone with our shadow work - Holy Spirit takes care of this through conviction, baptism by fire & sanctification.  In this world, we face evil that is in the open light of day & that which is hidden in the darkness of night. There is good & evil intertwined in everything except God who is all good (see Mark 10:18). For example, how is it not more widely considered evil that much of the money being invested & exchanged world-wide involves sin (e.g. exploitation, greed, over-consumption, gluttony, corruption, dishonoring God's resources & creation etc...)? As Christians, how can we improve upon an economic system that has sin built into it? How is the economy changing as God's Kingdom comes & His will is being done on earth as it is in heaven? While I was in the new age online class, even though I felt like a defenseless rabbit in a jungle, that was not the truth. In fact, I was & am a lion (or lioness) because of who lives in me. In surrendering my sin & weaknesses to Christ, I am made strong through Him. It is still not easy being a feeler though! I adapt with a slow pace of life because feelings are heavy & can be deceiving & they take time to process. I am learning to not go to either extreme of over-focusing on details & feeling too much of one specific thing or zooming out in a huge way & feeling diffuse exhaustion. We all need God's help to see & understand more, like how both evil (the weeds) & good (the wheat) are to "grow together" until such time: Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn. Matthew 13:30 (NIV) A few years after the purification lodge ceremony, I heard from the energy healer that as a child, he accepted Christ as his personal Lord & savior but sometime later, he got into metaphysical studies to make sense of his psychic abilities. I believe those abilities are spiritual gifts from the Lord but he was told they are sinful which had him turn to other ways of getting help. As Christians, we need to be there for each in support of developing our spiritual gifts rather than fearing & shunning them. I believe God allows Christians to go 'undercover' as sort of a type of 'missionary' into new age or other communities. All missionary work is risky but this type is especially so because, as I say it tends to be 'undercover' in that to some degree we might even have to forget certain aspects of who we are in Christ or who Christ is in order to reach people & learn about Him in new ways. It might take someone who can feel Christ to be a reminder that He is within & wants us back exclusively now! By God's grace, we do turn back & can then share our stories of warning & walking each other home to Christ. Other than the main concern of idolatry, the caution I offer is that the new age can be like any other business & the people who come to it seeking help are often in an especially vulnerable place. It is a way of selling things that make people want & even need more of whatever is being sold. This is how most businesses work in our economy - selling salt water to people dying of thirst. Some people feel this is also how religion & church are but this has not been my experience. The first & most important commandment of Christianity is to love God with all our heart, soul & mind, which, thank God, doesn't have to cost any money. When we love God this way, He is our Shepherd & fills us up with 'living water' which makes us less needy of the endless array of empty promises being sold in the world. There are numerous Bible verses that tell us we are all called to Christ, for example: "...at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11 (NIV) & yet, I have come to see that there so are many unique paths to Christ. Furthermore, I have come to appreciate that the new age is a way for people who don't accept Christianity to understand more about the darkness of this world so as to try to wield it rather than be wielded by it. Sadly, many new-agers get hurt & further from Christ but there are also those who find the truth, the way & the life in Jesus Christ through the new age. I pray that all those in the new age come to know & submit to Christ sooner rather than later so that the least harm is done, amen! When I was drowning in health problems, just praying, even sincerely lamenting on my own, was not enough. To stay afloat while treading water in a storm, I needed practical, tangible help. I needed (& still need) my family very close by, which meant I had to admit where I was at (gulp) & ask them to swoop in & help me & they do so much! I need church on an on-going basis. I need frequent worship & prayer with other believers. The Holy Spirit & word of God continue doing sacred & expertly careful work transforming & assisting me to do the things I have mentioned that are out of my character, as well as sharing this testimony! Praise be to God, amen. 
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 I created this image to express how I often feel living with ME/CFS. The magnificent thing about our "boats" (ourselves) is that, far more than actual boats do, we have a huge effect on the world around us! Our presence - bringing GOD into the world around us, changes the world. Lord, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, thank you & amen. Dear Holy Father,
We come humbly before you, each of us carrying some degree of weariness & burden. Our natural inclination is to fight & try harder, tiring ourselves out even more. Your word says you give us rest. Please teach us Lord, how to receive the peace, comfort & healing of resting in you. I invite us now to first just take notice & ask: is there a way I can position myself so that I am a little bit more comfortable? Maybe just a slight shift of my hip, or lean back or forward or can I choose to let go of holding certain muscles tightly? ... Ahhh, that is a little better already! And now, let us appreciate the blessing of the Lord’s ever-present breath in our lungs! Living with chronic pain, can make it difficult to appreciate our bodies, especially the parts that really hurt. It seems as if our body is letting us down or has even turned against us. Lord, you teach us in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit you have given us. Our body is not a tool or our slave. Please help us take time each day, especially on the worst feeling days, to rest easy in appreciation of & through your love & strength. Let’s start with our feet. Please bring your attention to your feet. Are they feeling cold or warm? Tense or relaxed? Can you feel your toes? Can you feel the bones in your feet? When we pay attention like this to our bodies, it is like standing at the doorway to the temple of the Holy Spirit within! Thank you feet; you do so much for me! Now, imagine Jesus near you. How does He look? Where is He in relation to you? If you feel pain in your feet or at a different place of your body, show this to Jesus & see what he does or says. Moving on now to our legs. Give your attention to the bones & muscles around your knees ... & your hips. Can you shift your focus to the skin on your legs & notice a difference? Are there areas of your legs that feel good, maybe soft or tingly or even just ok? We will move on now to our back, neck & shoulders. These areas often feel sore from tension, stress & injuries. Let’s take a moment to notice whatever we notice here. Gently move your head from side to side, if you wish. Thank you God for my spine & all the muscles doing the best they can to keep me mobile & functional. Now, imagine yourself in a large, comfortable chair cuddled up with Jesus right next to you. Whatever part of your body that troubles you most, including any part I have not mentioned yet, bring it to Jesus & see what He says or does. How does it feel if Jesus touches or holds this part of you? We are coming to the end of this guided relaxation journey. Please take a few moments to wiggle your toes & fingers. As you notice your chest & belly moving with your breath, thank Jesus for His presence & tell Him you will see Him again soon! When you are ready to open your eyes, please do so & if you wish, take a moment to write down one or two words, insights or prayers you’ve had. If you’d like to share about your experience, please do so in the comments. Thank you for your participation.  Back in December of 2023, I wrote about Richard Schwartz' psychological approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Today's blog, goes into more detail about IFS from my Christian perspective starting with a quote from Mr. Schwartz's book called No Bad Parts: "...in terms of spiritual preferences, our exiles' sense of worthlessness is likely to unconsciously steer us toward spiritualities or gurus that promise redemption or salvation. Similarly, because of their fear and hurt, we might tend toward forms of worship that are centered around a guru or some notion of an all-powerful God." (p.76) Whether this 'steering' toward salvation comes from exiled parts of our psyches or from what Richard Schwartz calls: 'Self Energy', ultimately it is a gift from God. Wisdom of 'the fear of the Lord' makes us aware of God Almighty & appreciate our need of Him as our Savior. This blessing may not happen until we experience our own personal 'Day of the Lord' (a coming to Jesus moment). Often an intense time of judgement, a reckoning & destruction & hopefully praise God, resulting in repentance & salvation. This is sound preparation for THE Day of the Lord that many prophets of the Bible, including Joel, speak about as being 'near' (Joel 1:15, 2:1, 11, 31 & 3:14) - "Who can endure it?"
As mentioned in my previous blog, IFS is an approach used to 'get to know' the complex & delicate inner workings of our minds. Richard Schwartz writes about 'Self Energy' that is needed for such a task. Self Energy involves qualities he calls 'the eight C's': curiosity, calm, confidence, compassion, creativity, clarity, courage & connectedness. Equipped with these qualities, Richard teaches therapists to guide people in discovering & 'unburdening' banished parts that are stuck hurting in past scenarios. The aim of IFS is freeing parts from their protective yet damaging behaviors & roles. Psychology & spirituality are inextricably intertwined yet often not in a harmonious way. I extend these words of caution about psychological approaches such as IFS because I know that people who are hurting can get very lost & taken advantage of while exploring the depths of themselves. Even as a Christian blessed with relatively harmonious integration of spirituality & psychology, I've experienced this danger. Woe especially to those that attempt such an endeavor who are without the anchor of a strong, conscious relationship with our personal Creator! Self Energy is considered by many to be a safe way to lead people 'down the rabbit hole' to bring about self-improvement. Furthermore, emotional pain & psychological help can be a doorway for genuine encounters with God. People may very well come to meet God through self-exploration but they also might not. In other words, Self Energy might only possibly scratch the surface regarding spiritual death (not to mention spiritual attacks). Addressing spiritual death ought to be our top priority & first order of business towards fulfilling our truest potential, otherwise, round & round within spiritual death one goes, seeking the peace & comfort of Christ Jesus in everything under the sun but Him. This said, it must be genuine, from a 'tenderized' heart; it can not come about superficially or by coercion. A tenderized heart means feeling the fear of His sheer power & that He means business! Mixed with His unrivaled loving compassion & forgiveness. Even at our physical & psychological peak of strength & aptitude, we are but a breath (Psalm 144:4)! We are merely vapor - here today & gone tomorrow (James 4:14). Like the grass of the field, we wither & like flowers, our faithfulness fades when the Lord blows upon us (Isaiah 40:6-7). All 'the 8 C's' in the world can't prevent anyone's inevitable & possibly sudden & immediate destruction, but our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ does by offering eternal life: "And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be delivered..." (Joel 2:32). Delivered from spiritual death! Who doesn't want that & why not? Self Energy pales in comparison to spiritual rebirth. The IFS way of 'unburdening' can not offer us spiritual rebirth: "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12). Richard teaches people to 'unburden' exiles by letting the painful emotions they carry go into one of the elements (e.g. air, water, fire, light, earth). For non-Christians, I think this aspect of IFS appeals to parts that know God & understand that He longs to free us ("...I will put my laws into their minds & I will write them on their hearts." Hebrews 8:10). These parts that know God, maybe they can not yet see Him as our personal, loving Father but they are heading in this direction. If you think about it, there is an aspect of truth to this way of unburdening because God is everywhere (Ephesians 4:6). Of course He is the light (John 8:12). This said, it can also be misleading & confusing. The concept of psychological unburdening can distract & lead people away from pursuing God in a personal way through Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior. Not mentioning Jesus as the original 'un-burdener' misleads people into believing that with the help of a therapist, we can unburden ourselves, which according to God is inappropriate self-reliance not unlike original sin ("...you will be like God, knowing good & evil." Genesis 3:4). Cleaning up old psychological wounds in this IFS way, likely helps people feel better & perhaps be more functional but it is a far cry from repentance & salvation - rebirth - the official 'starting line' of healing & wholeness! Of course, we can not force anyone into salvation or even into wanting to entertain or discuss the concept of it. Each person comes to salvation in a way & timing that is drawn by the Father (John 6:44). Some people might get there through psychological 'preparation' such as Self Energy. On a broader note, I hope that more Christians come to appreciate that needing psychological help even during our walk with Christ is no different than needing a doctor but it certainly requires nuanced discernment. I think a template of IFS can most safely be adapted & utilized by Christians as a way to find & release to the Lord emotional pain, in a more gentle & up to date manner (less archaic & traumatic) than typical 'deliverance' strategies. I have a personal example of how IFS can also help lost Christians find their way back to Jesus in the midst of their darkest 'hour'. During a very difficult time when my already ill-health was in sharp decline & relationship concerns were prolific during the pandemic, I felt I had no where else to turn, even as a Christian. For many years leading up to this time, I had been crying out to God without receiving what felt like enough or practical help. So I got to the point of seeking guidance from trees but they too were silent on these matters, go figure, lol. When I was asked by a therapist using IFS methodology who else was here to help me, this is when Jesus came into much clearer view & I knew what to do. I went to scripture & heard it in a much more meaningful & healing way. While my health is gradually improving, continued surges of intense symptoms are felt as a remnant. A reminder to me that I share with you about my personal Day of the Lord (much longer than a day; a very, very long season). Keeping me in constant awareness of how powerful He is & to remain steadfast, in awe, humbled & surrendered to Him. He is after our hearts, not our appearance. Our heart is often where we 'store away' our sins, wounds & other burdens as if it is an attic or basement. Christian-based IFS is a way to invite Jesus to enter into & offer up to Him, our most messy, hidden vulnerabilities, where we hold onto things most dear as well as that which we most want to forget. I pray a blessing over Richard Schwartz & those who use IFS & other psychological approaches. May IFS bring people to the true healing power of Christ through salvation, amen. If you are looking for a Christian IFS therapist, here is a list I have come across: https://jennariemersma.com/find-christian-ifs-therapist/ I have made a few short, artistic illustrations on my Instagram & YouTube of some of the points I have written about in this blog. Thanks for reading. Feel free to pose comments, questions or concerns.  I've been thinking about parents who encourage their toddlers & young children to "help" with the daily chores of sweeping, cooking, laundry, yard work & such. Doing so is not because the little ones are actually helpful in these ways, rather it is preparation & for their healthy development that parents take extra time & effort doing this. And so it is with God, who allows & equips us to "help" Him do His will: Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. As children are in comparison to adults, we are even greater still so much more vastly 'clumsy' & insufficient compared to God! Even with the best of intentions, we get in the way of His perfect will. Probably messing things up far more than actually helping! Might it be that this perspective can take some needed pressure off the "being good" part of what it means to be the Lord's disciples? He takes us on! Continuing to equip & develop us despite our many failures. Even when we 'do things right' as in the case with Daniel, this may mean exposure to blazing fires & lions' dens for us to get the Lord's message & show it to others. Despite potentially negative consequences, Daniel 'tested & approved what God's will is' by sharing his interpretation of the "writing on the wall" to king Belshazzar: Daniel 5:23 "...you have praised the gods of silver and gold, of bronze, iron, wood and stone, which do not see, hear or understand. But the God in whose hand are your life-breath and your ways, you have not glorified." Imagine being trapped with hungry lions for worshiping God, as Daniel did, despite king Darius's injunction not to. Daniel didn't have to kill these lions. God demonstrated His power in a more delicate way by sending His angel to shut the lions' mouths in light of Daniel's innocence. Daniel's courage & survival inspired the king to make the following declaration: Daniel 6:26-27 I make a decree that in all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel; For He is the living God and enduring forever, And his kingdom is one which will not be destroyed, And His dominion will be forever. He delivers and rescues and performs signs and wonders In heaven and on earth, Who has also delivered Daniel from the power of the lions. God made us to dwell in perfect presence with Him in the Garden of Eden. Of course He prefers when we listen to Him & do not sin but He knows we are all learning to 'test & approve what God's will is' & in doing so we make many mistakes. Some of us wrestle with the thought: "If only I were in the perfection of Eden like Adam & Eve lived, it would be easier to not to sin." Yet, here on earth, in our fallen state, God provides us with an 'out' that reconnects us with the perfection of the "Garden of Eden" --this is Jesus & the Holy word of God, the Bible. Yet still there are so many who choose not to acknowledge & receive these gifts as such; as His word & the way, the truth & the life. I pray that we receive these gifts over & over as many times as is needed to live 'his good, pleasing & perfect will.' Amen.
 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Cor. 1:3-4  I've been learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy lately & thoroughly enjoying doing 'parts art' - which simply means expressing 'parts' of oneself with art. We all have parts; we are multidimensional multiplicities of mind, body & spirit. For example, Richard Schwartz explains how our inner "managers" & "firefighters" protect our more vulnerable "exiled" parts. He calls our exiles 'basement children' because they are the difficult feelings, sensations & beliefs we've banished into the 'basement' of our psyches to avoiding dealing with them & to prevent them from overwhelming us in our day to day lives. But, the things is, as we 'gain life experience' (age) & internal & external pressures intensify, it is as if our exiled parts get squished out from under us! They come squawking, oozing & creeping their way into our everyday lives as they expel (or excuse) themselves from our basements, often in protest of being down there alone, for much too long. I became interested in Psychology & looking deeply into my "inner world" when I was quite young. Starting with a cognitive-behavioral approach (the root of pop psychology & new age thought), I've enjoyed learning about the complexities of the human mind from various perspectives. Since about 2010, I developed more of a somatic understanding of our body-mind (e.g. polyvagal theory & psycho-neuro-immunology). As of late, have been exploring how all of this fits with Christian spirituality & specifically with physical healing & deliverance. During my recent Prayer, Healing & Deliverance appointment with Bernadette & Audrey (who by the way is 98 & has been doing PhD for over 25 years), I experienced a beautiful & reassuring vision of God gently & effortlessly scooping me out of a "brambly thorn bush" (illness), placing me onto safe ground & then the thorn bush turned into my favorite flowers, roses. This is what God does - He heals & makes things new! He makes beautiful out of difficult. Jesus teaches us to show up for the exiles (inner & outer) because that is who He is. The image here of Jesus glowing, depicts what happened a few years ago when Jesus came to find me, His lost sheep, during a long time of intensified illness I was going though. What a blessing :) “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? The main thing I appreciate about 'parts work' (IFS) is the understanding that the focus of healing is not on changing or disposing of exiles but rather it is about acknowledging & getting to know them & their needs & updating them as to what is going on, especially anything out of the ordinary or stressful. Yep, this means chatting with our inner, vulnerable selves (usually children) on a regular basis! Furthermore, knowing that exiles, even after their 'burdens' are released, are permanent structures within each of us, takes pressure off of us trying to rid ourselves of them (which contrarily causes them to become even more lost yet heavy within us; the opposite of what is needed for healing).
A main point of divergence between Christian spirituality & the IFS model, is that in IFS there are "No bad parts" (see No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model -a book by Richard Schwartz & Alanis Morissette). Whereas, in Christianity, clearly, there is sin, we are all sinners & sin is bad! Also some Christians hold the view that many of us are in need of help with deliverance prayers designed to extract stubborn, evil demons from within. It is important to recognize that spiritually speaking we are all sinners in need of salvation named Jesus. Jesus is the 'bridge' & our model of a real-life, human to God relationship with God. I hold this as true AND I understand that to heal psychologically, we need to see ourselves ('bad parts' & all), with compassion & inclusion because the very act of exiling, banishing; calling something "bad" - makes it behave even more badly! If instead, we can do as Jesus taught us & think twice about 'casting the first stone' & then look at our 'bad parts' with empathy, curiosity & kindness, seeking to know what's happened to them & what their role & needs are - we have a much higher chance of healing (unburdening) them. By healing them, I mean reuniting them back with God's original plan for them by witnessing & releasing their hurts & soothing their pleas for relief. Before 'the fall' there was no suffering but living now in this cursed world with good & evil, what if all Christians got physically healed immediately upon asking the Lord? Would we be helpful to others who've had to endure ongoing hardships & suffering? God needs representatives who gratefully accept His ways of developing our patience in affliction & growing our faith to be able to comfort & share with others. Knowing spiritually "...And by His stripes we are healed." (Isa 53:5) how glorious the freedom is to let go & trust completely in God's sovereign answer to our request for physical healing: "Yes" "No" or "Not yet." Amen!  There are many ongoing theological debates amongst Christians, one of which I've been looking into lately is: can Christians be possessed by the devil, demons & evil spirits? Jim Osman, in his series, Spiritual Warfare: Truth or Territory (American Gospel); Justin Peters Ministries (Christ Alone: American Gospel), Matt Mcmillan Ministries & Doreen Virtue all say an emphatic "No!" & advise against deliverance ministries. Quoting scripture such as: ...having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise...(Eph. 1:13) We know that whoever is born of God does not sin; but he who has been born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one does not touch him. (1 John 5:18) "...does not sin..." is the key phrase in the second verse (I'll briefly touch on the first verse later). Jesus is the only one born of God who does not sin! Therefore, Jesus is the only one not touched by the evil one. Living in this fallen, sinful world of duality, we can't avoid being influenced & impacted by the knowledge of both good & evil.  While I definitely also have major concerns about large, showy deliverance ministries, I also can't help but wonder & even doubt that those advising against 'deliverance ministries' in general, have contended with extremely painful/limiting & persistent circumstances or experiences not sorted out by other means, either secular (e.g. psychological & medical help) or 'ordinary' Christian practices (e.g. repentance, Bible study, prayer & obedience). The 'out there' intensity of massive healing gatherings at mega churches (e.g. Benny Hinn; Kenneth Copeland & Joel Osteen) demonstrate how greedy, power-hungry so called Christian leaders, take advantage of people who are desperate for health & freedom. We must understand that while it's true that Christians are FREE IN SPIRIT with eternal life in Christ ("...sealed with the Holy Spirit...) we are not yet fully free in body & soul. The Holy Spirit indwelling, works His way into all our dark parts (those damaged by evil & sin) to heal & resurrect us whole, amen! I want to add a contrasting point to what I've said above that I haven't heard from those advising against deliverance ministries: the value of the concept of deliverance. It can be very empowering for people who are ill, injured, disabled or struggling with addiction, to have an external force to fight against to help them overcome their situation rather than let whatever hardship they are going through, kill them. To frame cancer as ‘an attack of the devil’ can help people rally & fight for their life instead of easily becoming too passive to survive in the face of extremely challenging symptoms & medications that makes them feel even worse. These well-known deliverance leaders I've mentioned above are simply 'moving peoples' energy'. By that, I mean they are re-arranging a person's broken pieces, which looks fancy & dramatic. It's possible that a few people get lasting healing from the belief that it will help but what about those who pay large sums of money to bring their dying child but get nothing in return? Backing up a bit, on the other hand, a constant, long term battle against ‘the enemy’ can can be exhausting & demoralizing. How does one reconcile dying in peace if they succumb to being 'defeated by the devil' as Beni Johnson died of cancer last year, for example? Furthermore, we are taught by Jesus to: “…love your enemies…” (Matthew 5:44). Yet it is true that Amos said: “Hate evil & love good…” (5:15). I conclude like Paul (Philippians 4:8) that we must look for, submit to, find, create & focus on God & all that is good, especially in our most challenging situations & by doing this, we resist (squash/minimize the effects of) evil (James 4:7). The evil one, also called ‘the thief’ (John 10:10) & ‘father of lies’ (John 8:44) is not omnipresent (as God is) but he doesn’t have to be to do his work of stealing, killing & destroying. He doesn’t have to possess or even ‘infest’ people to oppress & destroy them. He works by stealing the TRUTH & convincing people of that which brings suffering & quickens death. Using physiological & psychological (somatic) means, he creates "strongholds" which confirm peoples’ worst nightmares. He uses common human experiences of accidents/injuries, illness, bullying/abuse, poverty, isolation, physical & emotional pain (e.g. fear, shame, guilt, loneliness, frustration, & anger) to get us to destroy ourselves by believing lies such as the following (these 'thoughts' come from somatic imprints): 1. This illness will continue because it’s impossible to completely stop sinning (& be untouchable by the wicked one). Biblical Truth that opposes this lie: And His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:2-3) 2. I’ll never be ‘good enough’ to be well or well enough to do enough good. Biblical truth that combats this lie: Thankfully God has given us clear instructions on how to 'overcome ourselves' by inviting Him in rather than by trying to be 'good enough'. The sense of not being good enough runs deep, probably into our DNA, causing all kinds of problems such as working to exhaustion, addiction & other forms of idolatry. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, (Eph. 2:8) Now may the God of peace ... equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 20-21) 3. Life isn’t worth living with such ongoing pain. I'm useless much of the time yet taking up God's valuable resources. Biblical Truth against this lie: But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring about as it is this day, to save many people alive. (Genesis 50:20) while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:18 The evil one ‘reminds’ those like me who’ve been sick for a long time that we're 'good for nothing wastes of space' --more lies! Over the course of life, through our experiences, evil & sin plant ‘seeds of lies’ within our bodies & psyches & then can pretty much leave us to it except for checking in from time to time to make sure we stay on their 'program'. Unintentionally, we unfortunately often make some lies come 'true' to some degree. But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. (Matthew 13:25) These lies can fester & infect us, especially when we’re caught up in difficult circumstances. And, if we don’t have enough TRUTH already planted, rooted & well established within good soil, these ‘seeds of lies’ grow into massive, invasive weeds (e.g. parts of our personality & more difficult life circumstances such as poverty & addiction), that choke out truth, take over & eventually can take us down & out of life. The ultimate goal of satan's lies is our total destruction. We should aim to hear & know God's Biblical word of TRUTH at least one hundred fold more often as a positive 'counterweight' to the lies of the wicked one. To live from a place of: "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” we must not let our experiences dominate or dictate reality or tell us what is true. Instead, we must renew our mind by letting the TRUTH of scripture inform our experience. For instance, these two Bible verses surely tell us we can & ought to "move mountains" from getting in our way of living a gloriously Godly life. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. (Mark 1-:23-24) Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it (the demon) out?” And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. (Matthew 17:20) Many of satan's ‘seeds of lies’ get planted early in life & most of the time seem harmless or dormant while our lives are going well. They germinate & grow quickly when things don’t go as we hope & especially if we become disabled by pain & other symptoms. Regardless of whether these lies are inactive or wreaking havoc, whenever we get ourselves into harmonious union with God, we are blessed to be having a 'Garden of Eden' moment. As soon as we listen to the temptations (e.g. lies, 'God-doubts') of the evil one & choose to eat whichever 'forbidden fruit' he's selling us, we (once again) fall from the place of deep presence with the Lord. Fortunately, we do not fall out of God's hands or out of His mercy & grace! For we know the TRUTH: ...that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) And we hold fast to: casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5)  Art from FIRST NATIONS VERSION PROJECT - Retelling the Good Story: A Day & a Night with Creator Sets Free Over & over through out scripture, God teaches us, especially in times of troubles, to listen for His instruction & obey as an act of faith. This likely means we must first clear away distractions & let God write our to-do list. Jesus offered up a small amount of food & praised God for multiplying it to feed thousands (in Matthew, Mark, Luke & John). Lord, I lift up the food You graciously provide to me. I praise Your blessing of it satisfies all who are hungry, thank You our Great Giving Father! How did the woman who had bled for twelve years, suffering under the care of many doctors (& spending all she had), how did she come to know: 'If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well." (Mark 5:28)? According to Jewish Law, anything or anyone she touched became unclean, but because Jesus came to fulfill the law, he cleansed her. Jesus gave her the instruction she needed to heal. He knew she would touch Him before it happened.  Art from FIRST NATIONS VERSION PROJECT - Retelling the Good Story: A Day & a Night with Creator Sets Free After Peter ASKED Him to, Jesus told Peter to "Come" walk on the stormy sea to Him (Matthew 14:25-33). Obviously, it was not that walking was difficult for Peter. The tricky part was believing he could walk on a non-solid substance in the midst of a storm! This story tells me that when the Lord says "Come" I might be called to do an something I already know how to do within a context that seems impossible. This type of act of faith, I have been practicing when my energy is extremely low or scattered or when a feeling of overwhelm tries to take over. Rather than elaborate plans, God knows these acts of faith often need to be very simple, such as raising my arms up & reciting a health confession: "This is my comfort in my affliction, that Thy word has revived me" (Psalm 119:50).  These gorgeous fall trees made me stop driving & take a photo! When Jesus healed people, He often gave them a simple instruction: "Bring the boy here to me." (Matthew 17:17) When praying for healing, I encourage myself & those I am praying for to listen for an instruction from the Lord. It may be a very simply action (yet still often requires great faith, like "walking on water"). The receiving of an instruction is not about testing the Lord or "testing out" His healing. By listening, we are practicing & honing our ability to hear God! & act-ivating our faith, healing & discipleship, amen!
This seven minute animation (Retelling the Good Story) is where I got the two art images above. This video is a beautiful artistic version of two Gospel stories told from a First Nations cultural perspective. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :) youtu.be/QMPlZLGWT80?si=2xnERxelb8aOTpuz  Our soul is the place deep within that unites our psyche & spirit with our body. The healing of the soul from sin is the innermost, profound (even pervasive) type of healing we can go through, somewhat like the process of physical birth. Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which has been born of the flesh is flesh, and that which has been born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:5-7 The degree to which sin has invaded one's self, soul healing salvation is self-destructive & as such, makes personal the crucifixion & resurrection of Jesus Christ: "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (Hebrews 10:31) Many don't understand the need for soul healing and confuse it for other needs. The realization of the need for salvation is not something one person rightly can push upon another. The desire for a free soul: eternal life (knowing God as Jesus Christ), comes from within, hearing His knocking & calling us home. “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day." (John 6:44) Purification of the soul is on continuous offer from God Almighty to everyone alive, as the gift of grace through Jesus Christ. Accepting God's gift of redemption means entering into covenant relationship with God & surrendering to His Word & to His Ways: "...whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39) As the Light of the Lord (Holy Spirit) goes to work within an individual's spirit when their soul is saved, full healing of body & mind is activated & nothing can stop it (not even physical death). Even that which seems like an obstacle (e.g. illness) becomes part of one's healing journey. God has a plan & always makes His Ways straight, uplifting us from darkness. "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30) I remember laughing out loud, likely through tears, when I read this Bible passage above. Wait a minute, I thought ... Your yoke is easy & Your burden is light? Come now, really ... why then is it so painful? While salvation happens the instant we first believe, its effects have our whole lives & beyond (eternity) to penetrate & permeate throughout our being. That God has us for such a long while (forever!) is a very good thing because we humans are very dense & so it can take Light a long time & some pretty intense pain to make its healing ways through us. The Holy Spirit clears us out; all that is not of God must go so He can fill us entirely. Iniquities, infirmities & afflictions - be gone, in Jesus name. Throughout Jesus' ministry He demonstrated much compassion towards those oppressed by illness; healing all who came to him, even those with little faith! The testimonies of physical healing did such a great work of spreading the "Good News" of Jesus like an underground fire erupting in places & never going out. Jesus healed the sick when He was God-made-flesh on earth & He continues healing people to the present day; we know this because it is written: “I the LORD do not change. (Malachi 3:6) Just as salvation can be a sensitive topic in the secular world so to is the topic of physical healing, or "Faith Healing", even among Christians. Why is it that some people heal quickly while other faithful folk remain sick for years, despite much prayer? It is so important that we be wise to etiquette around the topic of faith healing so as to not create more disappointment (where there is already much suffering) and push people away from ourselves and from God. I know firsthand how devastating it can be to be prayed over so many times & not feel any better physically, it's heartbreaking! I understand more now & there is much faith, joy (& even delight) in the renewing of my mind & softening of my heart, that I want to pass along. So now, here are some of the rules I pledge to live by regarding this topic: 1. Educate others about faith healing and let the understanding & the desire for it come from them (from God within them). When they are ready, they will come to it! 2. Do not assume everyone with a disability/illness wants/requires physical healing. Often people know subconsciously when it is their time to pass on or to remain in the condition they are in. In addition, many people with disabilities do not want to be fixed or cured. Never judge anyone who has "not yet healed" (e.g. as having too little faith etc.). The matter is between that person & God (& me or you, if they allow it). 3. All healing is from God; He made us healing "bio-machines". When praying for healing, rather than use the phrase: "If it be your will..." (If you are not sure that it is God's will to heal you will you possibly go against God's Will by asking the doctor to figure out what is going wrong, taking medication or getting surgery?); PRAY (something like): "Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer & healing me, in Jesus name, Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." AMEN! 4. One of the biggest lessons to understanding faith healing comes from this verse (& there are others like it): "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (Mark 11:24) This is where people with chronic illness need Noah's ark & mustard seed moving mountains & the thief on the cross next to Jesus saying "Remember me...", type of faith. Once we've asked for health, we must believe it is so despite possible lingering symptoms. For this is what faith is, believing that which we do not have empirical evidence for. Believing what is not, into reality--not on the basis of new age sayings and positive psychology but on the authority of God & His promises throughout scripture.
This is a huge revelation in that, rather than getting disappointed after prayer & continued symptoms, we can instead take action to cultivate more faith, such as, by making confession: "Jesus is the Lord of my life. Sickness & disease have no power over me." (Charles Capps). Each confession is like lifting weights; it's going to take many repetitions to become stronger & see our "faith muscles" increase. Similarly, it may take many repetitions to see health replace symptoms after years of the brain subconsciously "rehearsing" certain sensations over & over. Furthermore, there are reasons other than what I've mentioned so far (e.g. timing, faith) as to why one's physical healing may be delayed. I have more to share and will do so in another blog, another time. Thank you for reading & happy healing, amen!  This phrase: "The miracle that we are IS God" is my initial take away a few chapters into listening to the audio-book: "Cure Your Fatigue: How balancing 3 minerals & 1 protein is the solution you're looking for, by Morley M. Robbins. It is nothing but wondrous how the human body functions in all of its complexity! All glory to God, Amen.
 Before my Dad passed away, he told me: "The idea that God will swoop down, pick up my dead body & bring me to heaven, is so absurd but ... I can't be certain that it won't happen." he said. My Dad, being a naturalist & science-minded, was not a fan of certainty (especially other peoples' certainty, lol!). Even though his skepticism drove him away from religious belief, at some point it also brought him back.
My Dad's realization that we can't be certain that the laws of nature as we know them are the only possible laws, is a beautiful, little, powerful miracle. Emphatically he would declare "God is love & heaven is right here & now!" With much prayer I trust my Dad's heart & mind was renewed even further & now he's singing & soaring limitlessly through eternal life in heaven with God who creates all the laws, how cool, amen! So often the question Why not believe? comes to my mind. What harm or difficulty is it to believe GOD IS LOVE? The Bible & Gospel is such a rich & fantastical Truth story. I am so grateful to have been drawn by the Father & to be surrounded by believers in God's magic through Christ: "People cannot come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me; and I will raise them to life on the last day." John 6:44 |