My Great Grandpa, Emmanuel, which means, God is with us, saved my life! Indirectly of course, as I never even met him. When my Granny, Joyce, was just over a year old, he rescued her from being burned to death in a furnace. Her Mom, my Great Grandma was very sick but they didn't know what was wrong at the time. Later on they found out her illness was from barbaric dental work & it resulted in her committing the delusional & dangerous act of putting her only child into their furnace! My Grandma later found out, this was out of 'obedience to God' like when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Thank God, Emmanuel was there to intervene. 

Back in 2019, I went to Dance Divine, a conscious, free-style dance-space on a Sunday morning. I had been to many of these types of free-style dances before & nothing was unusual about this day. But part way through, something was different. A certain, distinct energy came over or into me. It was almost violent, asserting its way through me, feeling like a massive sea serpent! My body instinctively eased up so the 'entity' would be less damaging & so it rippled through, with me convulsing in waves on the floor. Strange...I know! This was happening while I was surrounded by about 30 people dancing around me. And it's not over yet...

In hindsight, I guess the 'serpent energy' bullied or pushed me into publicly pleading with God; a literal cry for help. I certainly don't like being center of attention, so rarely if ever speak up loudly, but this was a totally-out-of-the-ordinary experience. I am so grateful that someone reached out their hand & helped me stand up. My legs felt so weak & shaky & I felt incredibly urged to get back on the floor to continue writhing.

It was not just my body but my voice was hijacked also. Boldly blurting out into the ethers, as if some part of me was nearly certain I was the only one left here. Yet, everyone in that large dance space couldn't help but hear me alternating between shouting: "Fuck You!" & "Thank You!" repeatedly, like 10-20 times! OH MY, right?! 

It was Amy Color who reached out & stood by me. I didn't even know her name at that time. She came face to face with me, looking me in the eyes & clasping onto my hands. When I told her: "I need to lay back down" she kept holding my hands & said: "I am staying standing." This helped me continue to stand even though it was incredibly difficult. The 'serpent energy' eventually dissipated & I calmed down, re-centered & became my usual self again during the dance. As mortifying as the experience was for me to go through in front all those people I didn't know, the afterward part felt even worse. 

When the dance ended, the group of us sat in a closing circle. I felt extremely exposed in front of everyone because of what had happened! I had a chance to speak to the group & did my best but I stumbled because I did not yet have words to express myself adequately. The others in the group felt distant, cold & uncaring. No one asked how I was doing or offered a hug or any other form of compassion. Had they been 'holding space' for me? Were they just stunned, uncomfortable & afraid? I don't know, but it sure felt unbelievably awful. I felt shunned. It was as if the event leader thought I had done some theatrics on purpose, taking away a positive experience from the other participants, especially the new people. I certainly didn't intend for anything unusual to happen. Being invaded by a sea serpent wasn't anything I anticipated nor was it a choice out of my own volition, which indeed was quite terrifying. I am grateful to be more aware of energy like that now.  

A few times, after that experience, I reached out to Nadia Van Doren of Core Connexion, who I knew from when I lived in Calgary. She was patient & lovely in helping me process what happened & release the shame & embarrassment that I felt about it. I figure that the 'serpent energy' forced a part of me that was frightened, exhausted & unacceptable, to finally speak up. Sadly & also understandably, that part was not well received, except by one person & then later, another person & myself. Thank God for Amy & Nadia!

Back at the dance, I believe that my yelling "Fuck You" is self-explanatory but "Thank You", maybe not so much. It was my genuine praise to God for giving me the fortitude to keep making the best of a difficult situation by staying open to growth, learning & beauty.

Over the years, it has been very important to persist in getting my needs met in calmly-assertive & safe ways rather than neglecting them until they explode out inappropriately.​

I have found it frustrating & ironic that the more I 'wake up', the more I need rest & sleep! But Jesus explains this by saying: 

As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. (John 9:4)

​​​True rest occurs in Christ: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)​

Dear Jesus, there are storms in life that I can't do anything about except trust you. Help me to be like you, able to sleep & rest peacefully especially during difficult times, when I need it most. Sleeping with one eye open is not healthy. Holy Spirit, please come into the most vigilant & vulnerable parts of my mind & body. Heal me & allow me to feel safe, relaxed & protected under your light & watchful eye. Help me do what is pleasing to you. Precious Lord, bring me into your essential, regenerative & restorative sleep each night & into restful, closeness with you every day, amen. 

This unanswered question posed by God in Jonah 4:11 is the final verse in this unique story of such rich & great depth. The book of Johan in the Bible is about a prophet who attempts to avoid God's command to warn the Nenevites that their evil ways have caught up with them. Rather than going into enemy territory to sound the alarm, Jonah takes an unsuccessful sabbatical from God's service. He gets tossed overboard a ship into the stormy sea & then is miraculously 'rescued' from drowning by being swallowed by a sea creature. Jonah spends three days inside the belly of the beast!

For the whole of chapter two, Jonah prays sincerely; crying out to God from 'the depth of Sheol' (NASB) or 'from deep in the realm of the dead' (NIV). Jonah describes rock bottom viscerally & quite relatably to those who've been there. He also expresses his awakening - a changed heart & renewed vow:

Even though Jonah doesn't repent for trying to ditch God's instruction, God makes the great fish vomit him back to life upon dry land for another chance. This seems symbolic of baptism & being born again. I guess God knew that Jonah's willingness to obey this time around was in fact the best any Hebrew of that day could do for the wicked & terrorizing people of Neneveh.

Renewing his vow to the Lord strengthens Jonah to deliver the most successful prophesy of the old testament - everyone in Neneveh (even the animals) take him seriously & call on God in repentance. Jonah's anger (to the point of wanting to die) over God's relent, clearly shows Jonah's human nature. In contrast, eight hundred or so years later, Jesus, the son of God (God in human form), refers to the 'sign of Jonah' as an astute illustration that 'now something greater than Jonah is here'! Praise the Lord for all those who hear & believe :)

For what was asked of him, Jonah's anger is understandable but so quickly he forgot that God's compassion upon the Nenevites doesn't mean everything will be sunshine & roses for them. Just as Jonah had to endure his own 'day of the Lord' in the belly of a fish & he still wasn't 'off the hook' regarding God's plan, so it is for everyone:

It's just as Tim Mackie says:

God's judgment brings justice but it certainly & often doesn't seem fair or right or fun for us. Could it be that 'justice is as justice does' but is not as it appears? We learn from the book of Job that when it doesn't look as though justice is being served, we are to trust God anyway; He is working everything out 'just so' in His infinite wisdom & ways. When we consider all the moving parts, it's no wonder things are as they are.

Jonah's well-heeded proclamation to the Nenevites was a hint toward the blessing of Jesus to come to all nations, including to those who are not God's chosen Jewish, Israelites. As I mentioned in my previous blog, Christian salvation is unique in that it is not about what we do as much as it's about what God has done for us. Christianity & going to heaven do not come about by 'being a good person' as many seem to think.

We can not 'good' our way back to God as we were before 'the fall' because sin keeps us 'spiritually dead' to our Creator. Being or doing good doesn't cover up, cleanse or remove our sin. Only Jesus' death on the cross accomplished this & before Christ, people such as the Nenevites were saved by their faith in God & made righteous unto Him through repentance. No one is without wrongdoing except for Christ. Thank you God for giving us 'that which is greater than Jonah'. For it is through Jesus that we are reconciled to:

Back in December of 2023, I wrote about Richard Schwartz' psychological approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Today's blog, goes into more detail about IFS from my Christian perspective starting with a quote from Mr. Schwartz's book called No Bad Parts:

Whether this 'steering' toward salvation comes from exiled parts of our psyches or from what Richard Schwartz calls: 'Self Energy', ultimately it is a gift from God. Wisdom of 'the fear of the Lord' makes us aware of God Almighty & appreciate our need of Him as our Savior. This blessing may not happen until we experience our own personal 'Day of the Lord' (a coming to Jesus moment). Often an intense time of judgement, a reckoning & destruction & hopefully praise God, resulting in repentance & salvation. This is sound preparation for THE Day of the Lord that many prophets of the Bible, including Joel, speak about as being 'near' (Joel 1:15, 2:1, 11, 31 & 3:14) - "Who can endure it?"

As mentioned in my previous blog, IFS is an approach used to 'get to know' the complex & delicate inner workings of our minds. Richard Schwartz writes about 'Self Energy' that is needed for such a task. Self Energy involves qualities he calls 'the eight C's': curiosity, calm, confidence, compassion, creativity, clarity, courage & connectedness. Equipped with these qualities, Richard teaches therapists to guide people in discovering & 'unburdening' banished parts that are stuck hurting in past scenarios. The aim of IFS is freeing parts from their protective yet damaging behaviors & roles.

Psychology & spirituality are inextricably intertwined yet often not in a harmonious way. I extend these words of caution about psychological approaches such as IFS because I know that people who are hurting can get very lost & taken advantage of while exploring the depths of themselves. Even as a Christian blessed with relatively harmonious integration of spirituality & psychology, I've experienced this danger. Woe especially to those that attempt such an endeavor who are without the anchor of a strong, conscious relationship with our personal Creator!

Self Energy is considered by many to be a safe way to lead people 'down the rabbit hole' to bring about self-improvement. Furthermore, emotional pain & psychological help can be a doorway for genuine encounters with God. People may very well come to meet God through self-exploration but they also might not. In other words, Self Energy might only possibly scratch the surface regarding spiritual death (not to mention spiritual attacks). Addressing spiritual death ought to be our top priority & first order of business towards fulfilling our truest potential, otherwise, round & round within spiritual death one goes, seeking the peace & comfort of Christ Jesus in everything under the sun but Him. This said, it must be genuine, from a 'tenderized' heart; it can not come about superficially or by coercion. A tenderized heart means feeling the fear of His sheer power & that He means business! Mixed with His unrivaled loving compassion & forgiveness.

Even at our physical & psychological peak of strength & aptitude, we are but a breath (Psalm 144:4)! We are merely vapor - here today & gone tomorrow (James 4:14). Like the grass of the field, we wither & like flowers, our faithfulness fades when the Lord blows upon us (Isaiah 40:6-7). All 'the 8 C's' in the world can't prevent anyone's inevitable & possibly sudden & immediate destruction, but our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ does by offering eternal life: "And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be delivered..." (Joel 2:32). Delivered from spiritual death! Who doesn't want that & why not?

Self Energy pales in comparison to spiritual rebirth. The IFS way of 'unburdening' can not offer us spiritual rebirth: "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12). Richard teaches people to 'unburden' exiles by letting the painful emotions they carry go into one of the elements (e.g. air, water, fire, light, earth). For non-Christians, I think this aspect of IFS appeals to parts that know God & understand that He longs to free us ("...I will put my laws into their minds & I will write them on their hearts." Hebrews 8:10). These parts that know God, maybe they can not yet see Him as our personal, loving Father but they are heading in this direction.

If you think about it, there is an aspect of truth to this way of unburdening because God is everywhere (Ephesians 4:6). Of course He is the light (John 8:12). This said, it can also be misleading & confusing. The concept of psychological unburdening can distract & lead people away from pursuing God in a personal way through Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior. Not mentioning Jesus as the original 'un-burdener' misleads people into believing that with the help of a therapist, we can unburden ourselves, which according to God is inappropriate self-reliance not unlike original sin ("...you will be like God, knowing good & evil." Genesis 3:4). Cleaning up old psychological wounds in this IFS way, likely helps people feel better & perhaps be more functional but it is a far cry from repentance & salvation - rebirth - the official 'starting line' of healing & wholeness!

Of course, we can not force anyone into salvation or even into wanting to entertain or discuss the concept of it. Each person comes to salvation in a way & timing that is drawn by the Father (John 6:44). Some people might get there through psychological 'preparation' such as Self Energy. On a broader note, I hope that more Christians come to appreciate that needing psychological help even during our walk with Christ is no different than needing a doctor but it certainly requires nuanced discernment.

I think a template of IFS can most safely be adapted & utilized by Christians as a way to find & release to the Lord emotional pain, in a more gentle & up to date manner (less archaic & traumatic) than typical 'deliverance' strategies. I have a personal example of how IFS can also help lost Christians find their way back to Jesus in the midst of their darkest 'hour'. During a very difficult time when my already ill-health was in sharp decline & relationship concerns were prolific during the pandemic, I felt I had no where else to turn, even as a Christian. For many years leading up to this time, I had been crying out to God without receiving what felt like enough or practical help. So I got to the point of seeking guidance from trees but they too were silent on these matters, go figure, lol. When I was asked by a therapist using IFS methodology who else was here to help me, this is when Jesus came into much clearer view & I knew what to do. I went to scripture & heard it in a much more meaningful & healing way.

While my health is gradually improving, continued surges of intense symptoms are felt as a remnant. A reminder to me that I share with you about my personal Day of the Lord (much longer than a day; a very, very long season). Keeping me in constant awareness of how powerful He is & to remain steadfast, in awe, humbled & surrendered to Him. He is after our hearts, not our appearance. Our heart is often where we 'store away' our sins, wounds & other burdens as if it is an attic or basement. Christian-based IFS is a way to invite Jesus to enter into & offer up to Him, our most messy, hidden vulnerabilities, where we hold onto things most dear as well as that which we most want to forget.   

I pray a blessing over Richard Schwartz & those who use IFS & other psychological approaches. May IFS bring people to the true healing power of Christ through salvation, amen.

If you are looking for a Christian IFS therapist, here is a list I have come across: https://jennariemersma.com/find-christian-ifs-therapist/

I have made a few short, artistic illustrations on my Instagram & YouTube of some of the points I have written about in this blog.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to pose comments, questions or concerns.